Today, MSNBC reported that beards are back in style. As a bear-loving, hair-lover who likes to stick my nose into the mustache of a hairy man, I couldn't be more pleased.
(Not to mention, I believe I'm one of those standard-setting types...you know, that the fashion industry studies)
Paul Roof claims it's because of a reclamation of masculinity.
MSNBC thinks its the recession.
MSNBC goes on to ask the decidedly stupid question:
What impact do all these whiskers have on women’s skin?
Uh, the answer is obvious you het dolts. Whiskers are known as clit ticklers. And they feel good on a cock-a-doodle-doo as well!
What should terrify readers is that in 2005 The Economist claimed that beards are the sure-fire sign of the terrorist, in their bizarre piece For Jihadist, Read Anarchist:
BOMBS, beards and backpacks: these are the distinguishing marks, at least in the popular imagination, of the terror-mongers who either incite or carry out the explosions that periodically rock the cities of the western world. A century or so ago it was not so different: bombs, beards and fizzing fuses.
Well, whatever the case, I'm thankful the beard is back. Suddenly, I feel swept into fantasies of hot men in denim in the back of trucks in 1977! Yummmmmmy!
Heck, maybe all I need to do is walk outside!
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