How to Spot a Gay Man in Mississippi?

They have guts, facial hair, and very masculine tattoos. I try to give them the eye and they smile and wave. So I'm dying to figure out how to spot a fellow-traveler, a big ole' homo, a hot and hairy big-bellied bear man in Mississippi. All these Southern men look like bears and all their wives look like dykes. I love this place, but somehow, I get the feeling that if I try to take a bear to bed (or for that matter his dyke wife), he might end up pulling out the bible, burning a cross, or kicking my ass from bed to a rope dangling from the nearest oak tree. So somebody tell me--which of this trade is fair trade and how do I tell the homos from the nonos.

Urgh, I want a big Southern Man