Beauty, Loss, Survival

I got a call today. Another person in my life lost to mental illness. In a world of great tragedy, pain, and suffering, many choose to opt out.

Thankfully, right after I got the call, my friend Kevin drove me up to the woods with two other friends. We hiked a beautiful trail filled with plants, insects, and panoramic views of the mountains. He showed me the vanilla smell of the ponderosa Pine, sage, wild roses, raspberries, hemlock, juniper, prickly pear, and gooseberries. We sat for awhile by a gentle creek. I watched the water rush by, thinking about all the people who've lost their lives to suicide, how water connects all living things, beings, spaces, and time memorial. I thought about the violence of our society, the hatred my European ancestors had for nature, people, and beauty itself. I thought about how beautiful flowers smell and how important it is for us to fight for the possibility of life against the brutal, industrial machines of capitalism that compromise ourselves and generations yet to come. The world is a beautiful place filled with horror and possibility.

For those involved in the struggle to choose whether to live or die, particularly those struggling with Bipolar, Manic Depression, elevated and low moods, however you want to put it, I recommend connecting up with the amazing Icarus Project.